A Dog's Prayer

...Dear God,

Here is a list of a few of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the smell.

3. The sofa is not a face towel.

4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

5. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.