Take off clothing and place it
carefully in laundry hamper according to 'lights' and 'darks'. Walk to
bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up
any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and make
mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc. Get
in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice
stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your
hair with grapefruit and mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed
apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until totally red. Wash entire rest
of body with ginger nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off
hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off
all wet surfaces in shower. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size
of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to
bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way,
shake your knob at her making a 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly
physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your knob and then scratch
your arse. Get in the shower. Wash your face then wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off. Fart
loudly and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of
time washing knob and bollocks. Wash your arse whilst leaving plenty of
pubes stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a shampoo 'Mohawk'. Have a
pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to
notice the water on floor because the shower curtain was hanging out of
cubicle the whole time. Admire your knob size in mirror again. Return to
bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass the wife, pull off towel,
shake your knob at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet
towel on bed. The End.
4 comments:
Oh boy now that started my day off with a good chuckle.... It certainly hits the nail right on the head so very true! LOL :))
Love it, so true lol
Totally brilliant, had a good chuckle
Hahaha!! This had me laughing
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