I'm fine - Author unknown

There's nothing whatever the matter with me 

I'm just as healthy as I can be, 

I have arthritis in both my knees 

And when I talk I speak with a wheeze 

My pulse is weak and my blood is thin, 

But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

I think my liver is out of whack, 

And I have a terrible pain in my back 

My hearing is gone and my eyes are dim, 

Most everything seems to be out of trim 

I'm likely to fall at any time, 

But, all things considered, I feel fine.

Arch supports for both my feet 

Or I wouldn't be able to walk down the street, 

My fingers are swollen, stiff at the joints 

My nails are impossible to keep in points. 

Complexion is bad, due to dry skin, 

But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

My dentures are out, 

I'm restless at night. 

In the morning, I'm a frightful sight. 

Memory's failing, heads in a spin, 

I'm practically living on aspirin 

But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in."

Now the moral is, as this tale unfolds 

That you and me who are getting old, 

It's better to say, I'm fine with a grin 

Than to tell everybody of the shape we're in!